Men dislike "wonder-women"

Too Strong

I have a friend. She is 36 years old, however she looks fit and younger mainly because she trains every day in the local gym and looks after herself a lot. I mean nails, hairdressing, expensive clothes and designed bag.

I met her in a cycling class, and the first thing attract me toward her was her confidence and strength. This is like an aura surrounding her.

Christine, this is her name, has a perfect body with a personal trainer three times a week, and although she doesn’t show it, I guess she pays attention to her diet.

When you speak with her you can easily understand she is not a spoiled girly daughter or a cunning wife of a rich businessman. Her lifestyle is the result of hard work and immense love for herself.

Christine grew up in a single parent family in Ireland. The mother was an energetic lady, very wealthy, but she soon got ill for liver cancer. Christine was just a teenager, and she looked after her mum until she died after three years of treatments. That loss was the beginning of a new chapter of Christine’s life. She told me she cried for 2 days and then she made up her mind and move to London. She was just 19 year old. Her grandmother paid for her education, and Christine was working as well in a coffee shop to save money. Now, after 15 years she runs her own business in Interior design.

Since I have known her, I thought she is my role model: the proof you can be built your life and being successful with an immense amount of courage, determination and hope.

The lack of a man

However, knowing her better I discovered she is not happy. Expensive clothes, designed bags and a stunning house in Hampstead are not enough to feel realized in life. She misses love: looking into man’s eye and dream, making plans about children and family.

Christine finds extremely difficult to find a man who is interested in a long and stable relationship. This is not a matter of sex. After a very intense start, men step away saying she is too strong, and they do not feel comfortable.

Life difficulties and challenges make Christine a very strong person. Her drive and motivation make her to achieve exceptional results in her career: although she has lots of responsibilities, and her business is hugely demanding, she is respected and right connected in her field. She is invited for functions, events and lots’ of clients would be happy to have her as a designer for their house.

Maybe she “wasted” too much time achieving her personal and career goals, and now men find she overbears them with this authority.

But is it fair? What does actually mean being too strong?

If you are a confident woman with a successful career, men avoid you, isn’t it?

Career oriented

Speaking with a male friend, I discover it is more than that. It is about assertiveness, determination and thinking. But also these “wonder-women” are shorted in time. Jonathan is single 30 years old working as an investment banker in Canary Wharf. He explains me men like a feminine type, who is independent but also looks after her partner. I mean lovely dinners, unexpected surprises and lots of attentions to make him feel a real man.

“We run away from career orientated women. They are just too busy.

One of my friends was dating ones. And after five days he dumped her. She was stunning, but always when he was trying to call her, she was saying: Sorry I am in a meeting I will call you later. And she never calls back until the evening.

When they went out, she had spoken all the time about her own life. Every man gets bored. You basically lose interest in that girl.”

Successful women use to be highly confident about their life, and their choices. They are very independent as they sort out all their life, and sometimes easy in making judges on others people.

Having your rigid own routine can help out with your personal balance when you are single, but if you are a couple you need to make a compromise. You can jump out of bed at 6 am and said to your boyfriend or husband:” Morning, I am going to the gym. See you later.”

Old-fashion type

Men also dislike high maintenance women, who spend all free time shopping or getting her nails and hair done everyday. Jonathan stressed on sense of humour, “Without laughter the world would be dull and drab”.

Also, men like children.

Jonathan is quite clear on that point: “I like kids and I would be a good father, unlike mine. Also, it is part of the human experience. We are amoebas and have to procreate to maintain the species. What will I have to look forward to when I am older if I don't have grandchildren running around to spoil?”

A career oriented woman delay having a family, giving to her life others priorities, and can find hard in the middle thirty change all her life.

The perfect type seems to be a down to earth woman, honest and open-minded: a balance between independence and devotion to her husband. Men like active and healthy women, but not obsessed about fitness and diet. They don’t like an aggressive type, and prefer a shy, conservative but reliable woman, who would love having children, and stay at home looking after the family.

I might need to reconsider my future aspiration if I do not want to end up single forever.

They will discharge me saying the same state: " You are too strong, too much for me. I am sorry, but I am immature for you!”, which sounds like:" I want a submissive girl stay at home mother and housewife".

Is right that what men want?

Amy is still single and confused: half realised and half unfulfilled. She told she will start acting as a foolish and stupid girl. Maybe showing she is less clever is an excellent strategy. Women can be advantageous in acting and swindle man. So men, being aware that maybe the girl you are dating or attracted just pretending to be your type because she wants getting married.

Turmoil in Greek Politics: threat for the future

History is always the same, and what seems incredible is that humans are not good learners from the previous experiences.

What happens in Greece on Thursday morning is a clear example of historical dejavù. It warns us for the future in order to prevent other catastrophes.

The assault by Ilias Kasidiaris on two prominent female leftwing MPs during a live debate in the popular "Good Morning Greece Tv show" has nothing new. 

The leading members of the far-right Golden Dawn party lashed out Rena Dorou and Liana Kanelli after their strong provocation, saying if his party was elected, it " would take the country back 500 years". He punched the MP Dorou from the Communist KKE and threw water at the other from the Radical SYRIZA.  

The explosive news travelled across the country and make a lots of rumours within the political parties. 

The crucial point is simple:  is the Golden Dawn a group of intolerant extremists, who use violence in order to stress their point, or they are exhausted by the political and economical crisis and they just freak out?
The government and other political parties have condemned the attack, and furious protests against the fascist politician took the streets in Athens and spread across the country.

However, the opposite reaction to the "symbolic punch" came suddenly from supporters.
According to the Independent, a Facebook page appears dedicated to the Golden Dawn member, gathering incredibly 6,000 "likes" within 24 hours.
On the page this state: "Blessed be the hand of Ilias Kasidiaris," the creators wrote. "Today Ilias did what the entire Greek people wanted: give a strong slap to the system and its representatives!".


Everyone know about the deep recession in Greece: the country has a financial support from international bailout, but the austerity measures required by the lenders to stay in the euro have left Greek people on their knees.

Although there are deep divisions within the population, Greece prepares for a fresh election next week. According to the Independent, the left wing SRYZA is one of the favourites as it has promise to solve the painful situation, stopping the unsustainable measures demanded by the EU.
The key to win is giving hopes to the Greeks: a drastic change.
Extreme parties are capitalising on the public anger over the budget cut and austerity measures.

The Golden Dawn party, lead by Nikos Michaloliakos increases popularity, recurring to nationalist sentiment and pledge of a better future. One of their aim is to"clean up" the country from the immigrants, strongly connected with a rise in crime and violence.
The party is a mix of soldiers, shepherds and the parts of the society who are the most affected by the crisis: many low income professionals and workers, students and pensioners.
According to the BBC, in a pool a month ago, Golden Dawn surprised many by winning 21 seat in Greece's 300-seat parliament. The 7% of the vote has been estimated as a clear protest against the mainstream parties enforcing unpopular measures in return for the IMF funds (Guardian).

This is the real political risk.

The history teaches us that in difficult times extremist parties are able to interpret better the popular malcontent and could easily take up the country. Who has forgot how did Mussolini and Hitler come to the power?
Promises of drastic changes and reforms combined with extreme methods are a good argument to convince the unprotected and vulnerable parts of the society.
Although Golden Dawn denied any links with Neo-Nazism, the party continued to use a symbol bearing a strange resemblance to swastika.

In an interview with the Guardian, Alexis Tsipras, the leader of SRYZA, stressed on the collapse of social cohesion in Greece and the"danger of a humanitarian crisis": ".. the social state has crumbled; one in two youngsters is out of work; there are people leaving en masse; the climate psychologically is one of pessimism, depression, mass suicides. We cannot accept that this is the future of a European country. And precisely because we recognise the problem is European, and it will spread to the rest of Europe, we are sounding the alarm bell and are appealing to the people of the Europe to support us in an effort to stop this descent into what can only be called social hell."

The EU programme has been proved catastrophic for Greece, and the country urged to rebuild confidence and grow. If the answer is leaf the Eurozone, this should be done.
Politics is not always able to listen the population and deal with changes.
Ruling a country mean interpreting population needs looking toward progress and wealth.
Unfortunately, the history confirms that in time of crisis the consensus collapse and the best interpreters seem often to be extreme parties.  Which ones?  We should wait to discover it.

Tannig is healthy, but in moderation

Sun is vital for humans, not just because it lights and heats the earth, making vegetables grow, but also because of its benefits on human's health.

Sun makes people happier, enhancing our mood and stimulating our energy.

This is easy to demonstrate: a trip in sunny countries makes you understand how the sun can influence the attitude of people.

They are more relaxed, warm-hearted and willing to share more time, meals and fun outdoors with families and friends.

Studies prove that the brain produces more serotonin on sunny days, which acts as a natural antidepressant.

Between 4 and 6 percent of the U.S. population suffers from seasonal affective disorder, according to the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, SAD, seasonal affective disorder, is a condition that typically generates depression and sadness during autumn and winter and then goes away in the sunnier months.

Sunlight also boosts also your appearance, making us look healthier with a fresh glow.

An online survey conducted in the U.S. by the American Academy of Dermatology found that 58 percent of respondents aged 18 to 29 believe people look more attractive with a tan, and 71 percent agreed with the statement: "Sun exposure is good for your health."

Sun is also the best source for Vitamin D, which is crucial for our immune system, protecting us from cardiovascular diseases, cancer and infections.

The so-called "sunshine vitamin" is also an excellent supplement for our bones, and a deficiency of it has been associated with falls, low bone mineral density, and osteomalacia (called rickets when it occurs in children).

Studies, from Atlas of Cancer Mortality Rates for the United States, 1950-94, (cancer.gov/atlasplus/type.html), show that about 50,000-63,000 annual cancer deaths in the U.S. (10% of all cancer deaths) could be prevented if all Americans had sufficient vitamin D. In the UK, the preventable cancer deaths with sufficient vitamin D may be as high as 20% since oral intake is low and vitamin D produced from solar UVB is much lower than in the U.S.

According to studies, getting up to ten minutes of direct sun exposure each day helps the body produce vitamin D.

Vitamin D is not actually an essential dietary vitamin in the strict sense, because it is synthesized from sunlight. However, it is possible to increase its intake with a diet in order to maintain an adequate serum levels (from a vitamin D3 blood test)

Dietary sources of vitamin D include: fatty fish, mushrooms, eggs and beef liver.

Scientists are divided between about the sun's benefits against cancer, multiple sclerosis, and osteoporotic hip fracture that likely could have been prevented with sufficient vitamin D, and the number of cases and deaths from skin cancer, eye injuries and cataracts that likely have been prevented by avoiding excess UV irradiance.

It is well known that over exposure to the sun causes irreversible skin damages: it can lead to wrinkles, prematurely aging skin and in the worst cases even a cancer diagnosis  . Melanoma is the most deadly form of skin cancer.

According to The U.S. National Cancer Institute, Melanoma is the most common cancer for Americans aged 25 to 29, and the second most common cancer among those aged 15 to 29. 

Using tanning beds increases the risk of melanoma, especially in women aged 45 or younger.


An excessive exposure to the sun's rays can also dehydrate the body, giving a sense of fatigue and dizziness. Other harmful effects are sunburns and heat-strokes.

The byword “too much of anything is bad” is always true.

The key is to sunbathe gradually, with a good cream with high protective factor, and always use common sense. 

Athletics blind training

Be prepared for competition is hard work. It required a strong motivation, passion for sports and regular training. At the Battersea Millennium arena a group of fit and enthusiastic athletes hire a coach to work on their athletics’ techniques.

All of them have sight issue: some of them are totally blind, others partially impaired.

First is running: a good warm up on the track before the ready for the sprint. The next step is discus, followed by jumping and javelin.

Thank to my friend Odette Battarel, I had the opportunity to train with them. Odette is just amazing. She is a partially blind tennis player and professional coach in blind tennis indeed. She is also a keen organizer in different sports events for visually impaired people.

Athletes are preparing for the Annual Metro Athletics Championships hold every summer in London. This year it will take place on 16 June at Mile End Stadium, which different track and field events: from the 60m sprint to the 5,000m race, the high and long jump, shot put, discus and javelin.

William is 45 years old, but he looks younger because of his fit figures and his marvellous sense of humor. He is visually impaired, as Alice, Sarah and Andrea. For them the challenge is to compensate the lack in vision with an acute hearing and a strong sense of balance and geography.  Andrea stands out as professional athletics, silver medal in swimming at Dublin qualification in 2010. “This year I want to win my medal, and I go for that. I am good in the discus and javelin; I need to push on my running. ”

For Maria it is even more difficult. She is a totally blind intelligent lady: tall, fit and funny.  She came with her guiding dog, and was one of the most confident on the track. Speaking with Maria, I discovered she runs and swim regularly, and during the weekend makes time to ride a bike with friends.  Sport is also extremely important as a way to relax and have fun. “When you are blind you are limited in many things, and playing sport gives you freedom. Obviously it is important that the place is safe, and you have adequate support.”

The Battersea Millennium Arena provides the best environment, facilities and coaching for athletics and tennis. Our coach called Chris was extraordinarily good: competent in his field, but also very alert and patient in dealing with blind people.

Their training is tough and intense. There not difference related their sigh’s problems, just some devices in the coaching, which include more speaking and tutorial help in running for totally blind, such as Maria.  Roy helped him with some tips and advice helpful in training blind athletes.

Roy Smith is an ex Paralympics champion. He represented Great Britain in the 1980 Paralympics as a high jumper. Roy is also the founder of Metro Blind Sport, which is a British charity that enables blind and partially-sighted people to experience the same sporting opportunities as sighted people, and organize competitions and events in different sports: such as football, cricket, tennis, and athletics.

Roy has been selected as a torchbearer for the 2012 Games after being nominated by the Royal National Institute of Blind People (RNIB).

In each session, everyone was trying to perform at the best.  It was unbelievable looking their passion and the effort they put in every exercise. William reveled to me how much he love sport and his goal is being qualified.  “I have a normal like: a job, three children and sport is what makes me happy.  Sport is important for all of us. This why we are here today. Because we want to win.”

Andrea is even stronger: “Every day I go out, and I do my best in what I like. I go for it, and I grab it!”. I could see the same confidence in eyes as all the successful athletes have.

Blindness is not only a limit, as many people think. It makes you overcome other situations, and give you a positive attitude toward life.  In many cases, having a disability makes you more determined, and motivated in what you like and in what you believe. One of my best friends, who is blind use to say that: “It depends on what do you mean for being blind. I know what I want more clearly than others who can see perfectly. Many of you seem have a blurred vision in their mind. For some reason, they are blind.”

After three hours of training, I was tired, happy and burned. The sun was lovely, but too much for my pale skin. This is difficult to believe, particularly when I said I am Italian. 

Enabling a life without limits

Nowadays, having a disability does not mean that you cannot have a normal life.

In a city like London, many developments in technology and awareness have improved the quality of life for the disadvantaged.

With regards to sport, the common belief that people with disabilities are penalised is an incorrect assumption. Sport is a global expression of freedom and feelings.

It has also become more inclusive, recognising diversity and promoting the opportunity to participate.

Milan Sheth is a partially blind tennis player. He loves playing tennis and he is happy that there are now more possibilities to play for people like him. He regards tennis as a great way of exercising, being competitive and meeting his friends.

London lends a hand

He says London has become a really good place because there are more facilities and increased awareness. He points out an example related to his commuting: when he is travelling, there is an attendant who escorts and helps him to come in and out of the train.

Milan is one of the payers from the Metro association - a charity that supports and runs activities for blind people enabling them to take part in different kinds of sport, such as athletics, cricket and tennis. Metro also finances their participation in championships and supports them at a competitive level.

The Tennis Foundation charity takes action to make sport centres easily accessible for disabled players, providing professional and specific coaching. Disabled people are also given the opportunity to become coaches. In addition, the charity develops an international set of rules for blind tennis.

One of the centres supported by the Tennis Foundation is The National Tennis Centre in Barnes, London. I went there to visit a group of blind players tennis players from Metro who train every Friday. It was impressive to see them running and hitting the ball without any problems.

This is also where I met Milan, who is partially blind. His sight is affected by albinism, which gives him very weak eyes muscles. This means he can only focus on things which are a few feet in front of him. Beyond that, everything is blurred and he can only imagine what is there.

Relying on sound

When playing tennis, Milan mainly relies on his ears and on the sense of sound. He can hear when the ball is falling and coming towards him, by listening to the rattling sound that comes from inside it. This audible ball is one such adaptation made for blind tennis players.

The ball is also spongy, so it does not harm any players that it may hit and it also moves slower, giving them time to hear it.

Secondly the tennis rackets are short, with the face not too far from the hand, in order to have a clearer sense of its positioning and reflex more easily when catching the ball.

Finally, the tennis court is smaller because they use the serving line as the base line.

The rules of the game are basically unchanged. However, blind players are allowed extra bounces. If you are visually impaired you are allowed two bounces, if you are totally blind you are allowed three.

Blind tennis protocol

There is also a protocol in blind tennis, where the serving player must shout “play” or ”ready” and if his or opponent is ready, they respond with “yes”.  Verbal communication is essential when the players cannot see.

Tennis is one of the most popular sports in England and the annual Wimbledon championships draws thousands of people to its courts or to television screens to watch the latest matches.

It is therefore also important to make the sport accessible for people who are blind, deaf or in a wheelchair.

Odette Battarel, a second level coach of blind tennis and visually impaired herself, says: "Wheelchair tennis is already in the Paralympics.

“There is a GB team and they are competing this summer at London 2012 in August. We are hoping that blind and visually impaired tennis will come to the Paralympics soon.”

She adds: "We might even have the chance to have a demonstration this summer to show that it is possible for the blind and visually impaired to play tennis."

Sport is very important to the blind, but not just to stay healthy and participate in sporting activities. The main reason is because a blind person wants to feel like everyone else.

A life should not be limited because of a disability. London is a great city because it is providing good assistance and services to disabled people, fulfilling their dreams of not being discriminated or less able to enjoy life.

Advices to revive your relationship

Valentine’s Day is running up, and people get excited, thinking about how surprise their partner.

The key word is romance. Nowadays life is terribly busy and there is no much time to think about the value of our love. Valentine’s Day is set in order to remember us to celebrate it.





What are tips to restore and  feel more connected and close with your lover?

1.    Communication is extremely important.

Sharing thoughts, talking problems out and dealing with them to find a solution together. Silent is against any relationship because how can you know and try to understand what someone is thinking if you don’t ask?.

Being a couple means find the common ground and get a compromise in any decision.

2.    Kindness and little things make the difference.

Small gestures are so crucial: compliments to make your partner noteworthy or a sincere “thank you” to show appreciation about what he is doing for you.

3.    Physical contact is necessary to maintain your relationship strengths.

Kissing, hugging, and least but not less decisive a vital sex life.

4.    Surprises are always welcomed.

Unexpected card, flowers or gift, can mean a lot. They can be a delightful way to say sorry for a distressing argument or an annoyed misunderstanding.

5.    Special events are required to revitalize the normal routine.

A valid example is a trip together, relaxing in the seaside or discovering a new city.

Planning something different from everyday life is an excellent choice in order to renovate your loving feeling and experience something new.

Novelty brings always exciting.

In addition, some moments have to be underlined and ritualised because nothing is worthless in a relationship.

A lusty love is based on small steps, whose have to be remembered.

6.    Personal space.

In a relationship it is crucial and healthy taking your own time to your hobbies, to your friends and family. Everyone needs personal space to not fell oppressed and overwhelmed.

7.    Love is trust.

A mature understanding of your partner’s demands.

Relationship means a project together, and trust and confidence are essential. You have to rely on each other, having relaxing feelings and a sense of mutual support.

8.    Be honest.

It is better  avoiding lies and keep on telling the true, even if it is not pleasant. In this way, you are more reliable, and at the bottom of the line all coming up to the evidence. It is better facing problems immediately and directly and not trying to hid them.

9.    Not forget respect.

This most unforgettable element is so relevant in a relationship. It is related with feelings, ideas, opinions, goals and desires. Imposing your thinking and the decision is always hurtful. All the people are different, as well your lover is not the same as you. Sometimes can be difficult to accept an opposite view or will but this can show how extensive is your love.

10.    Listening.

Relationship is not only in one sense. Some people are so selfish that are able just to point out their problems and worries and treat their partner as a fixer. However, love is not that. Love is listening your companion, knowing his life, his ambitions and what he likes, without taking out his freedom and invading his life. He has to feel your presence next to him and your understanding.

A loving relationship is not easy to have been made working. It needs daily attentions and a lot of patience. Love can give you so much in life, but you need to keep it, making it bigger and stronger day to day.

Today Valentine’s Day is become a commercial event. A business for shop sellers. People are used to buy material present  and sometimes sent it by post because they are away working. The meaning of this festive day is different. It is a love celebration and money are not going to give you love. They are just a trace of love. Unusual trip, a memorable dinner or time shared together can means more.

Shame's tragedy

A man in his own apartment having a shower after a nightstand.
The camera follows his naked body. 
Repetitive situation, repetitive scene.
His body, his computer with pornographic images and sexy video chat. 


The phone is ringing. It is Sissy, his sister calling to know about his brother.

They have a difficult relationship and their miss-understood love causes a lack of confidence and balance in their life. 
Sissy is a singer, self-harmed and unstable. Brandon is a successful thirthy-ish man with a strong sex addiction. He is not able to have a normal partner to love and share time together because he is not able to love. Mainly he doesn't love his self and his only source to be alive is sex. Brutal and physical sex with attractive prostitutes and anonymous encounters.
No feeling, no sensitive thoughts, no passion. Just shame.

In this film sex becomes the only way to communicate with the world, as working, as eating. It symbolises
a condition of human being in a post-modern world where people are not able to be happy, relax, managing their stress and problems.
Bodies without souls are the only survivors in a New York painted in grey, blue and dark colours, where everything is gone quickly, in a subway stop.  The City that never sleep is the perfect location for that distressing story. Clubs, drugs, sex and work are the main characters. And the subway underlining the busy and frenetic rhythm of life.

Brandon is selfish and introvert. He suffers from lack of love and his traumatic past and relationship with his sister has influenced whole his life. His behaviour.
Brandon is a desperate man seeking sex feedback in any place. His glacial eyes need love but they can see just ugliness.

Brandon and Sissy

When Sissy came to his place he can't accept her and all the time he is nervous and irritated. He forced her to go out, knowing she has mental problems and she is very fragile. After the last annoyed argument she tries to make a suicide.
Brandon feels guilty and cries under symbolic raining.
However we do not know if the purification is done. the last scene shows him in the subway looking a girl in ambiguous way. But he is still in his seat and does not have action. He is still alone.

Steve Mc Queen has made an amazing film with a particular use of camera in shallow deep focus. Photography is masterly and gives us the impression of emptiness in a full and frantic environment.
The camera is the fragmented view of Brandon, it is his metonymy.
The music is a mix of harmonic, rock and blues and it suits perfect to represent the psychological drama of the protagonist.