Men dislike "wonder-women"

Too Strong

I have a friend. She is 36 years old, however she looks fit and younger mainly because she trains every day in the local gym and looks after herself a lot. I mean nails, hairdressing, expensive clothes and designed bag.

I met her in a cycling class, and the first thing attract me toward her was her confidence and strength. This is like an aura surrounding her.

Christine, this is her name, has a perfect body with a personal trainer three times a week, and although she doesn’t show it, I guess she pays attention to her diet.

When you speak with her you can easily understand she is not a spoiled girly daughter or a cunning wife of a rich businessman. Her lifestyle is the result of hard work and immense love for herself.

Christine grew up in a single parent family in Ireland. The mother was an energetic lady, very wealthy, but she soon got ill for liver cancer. Christine was just a teenager, and she looked after her mum until she died after three years of treatments. That loss was the beginning of a new chapter of Christine’s life. She told me she cried for 2 days and then she made up her mind and move to London. She was just 19 year old. Her grandmother paid for her education, and Christine was working as well in a coffee shop to save money. Now, after 15 years she runs her own business in Interior design.

Since I have known her, I thought she is my role model: the proof you can be built your life and being successful with an immense amount of courage, determination and hope.

The lack of a man

However, knowing her better I discovered she is not happy. Expensive clothes, designed bags and a stunning house in Hampstead are not enough to feel realized in life. She misses love: looking into man’s eye and dream, making plans about children and family.

Christine finds extremely difficult to find a man who is interested in a long and stable relationship. This is not a matter of sex. After a very intense start, men step away saying she is too strong, and they do not feel comfortable.

Life difficulties and challenges make Christine a very strong person. Her drive and motivation make her to achieve exceptional results in her career: although she has lots of responsibilities, and her business is hugely demanding, she is respected and right connected in her field. She is invited for functions, events and lots’ of clients would be happy to have her as a designer for their house.

Maybe she “wasted” too much time achieving her personal and career goals, and now men find she overbears them with this authority.

But is it fair? What does actually mean being too strong?

If you are a confident woman with a successful career, men avoid you, isn’t it?

Career oriented

Speaking with a male friend, I discover it is more than that. It is about assertiveness, determination and thinking. But also these “wonder-women” are shorted in time. Jonathan is single 30 years old working as an investment banker in Canary Wharf. He explains me men like a feminine type, who is independent but also looks after her partner. I mean lovely dinners, unexpected surprises and lots of attentions to make him feel a real man.

“We run away from career orientated women. They are just too busy.

One of my friends was dating ones. And after five days he dumped her. She was stunning, but always when he was trying to call her, she was saying: Sorry I am in a meeting I will call you later. And she never calls back until the evening.

When they went out, she had spoken all the time about her own life. Every man gets bored. You basically lose interest in that girl.”

Successful women use to be highly confident about their life, and their choices. They are very independent as they sort out all their life, and sometimes easy in making judges on others people.

Having your rigid own routine can help out with your personal balance when you are single, but if you are a couple you need to make a compromise. You can jump out of bed at 6 am and said to your boyfriend or husband:” Morning, I am going to the gym. See you later.”

Old-fashion type

Men also dislike high maintenance women, who spend all free time shopping or getting her nails and hair done everyday. Jonathan stressed on sense of humour, “Without laughter the world would be dull and drab”.

Also, men like children.

Jonathan is quite clear on that point: “I like kids and I would be a good father, unlike mine. Also, it is part of the human experience. We are amoebas and have to procreate to maintain the species. What will I have to look forward to when I am older if I don't have grandchildren running around to spoil?”

A career oriented woman delay having a family, giving to her life others priorities, and can find hard in the middle thirty change all her life.

The perfect type seems to be a down to earth woman, honest and open-minded: a balance between independence and devotion to her husband. Men like active and healthy women, but not obsessed about fitness and diet. They don’t like an aggressive type, and prefer a shy, conservative but reliable woman, who would love having children, and stay at home looking after the family.

I might need to reconsider my future aspiration if I do not want to end up single forever.

They will discharge me saying the same state: " You are too strong, too much for me. I am sorry, but I am immature for you!”, which sounds like:" I want a submissive girl stay at home mother and housewife".

Is right that what men want?

Amy is still single and confused: half realised and half unfulfilled. She told she will start acting as a foolish and stupid girl. Maybe showing she is less clever is an excellent strategy. Women can be advantageous in acting and swindle man. So men, being aware that maybe the girl you are dating or attracted just pretending to be your type because she wants getting married.